Tears in
my eyes yet I don’t know what it means. They took all my emotions away from me.
Sucked out by depression and the demons that claim to live in me. I bleed out
to sexuality. I call out to u sexually. I take it lightly when u kiss me. I
forget that being emotionally broken is only a thing for me. And me alone.
That’s how I was born. Don’t u dare blame me coz of how my soul is withdrawn. I
tried living peacefully in this world. They made my soul blunt so I sharpened
my sword. And called it my goals so I can take a deep fall. Shortened the
number of nouns that surround me, so
even my words fell short. The level of inspiration I caught. Isnt as strong as
I thought. We live to lose faith but whats faith without hope. We thought of
suicide before singing ,'to hell with that rope.' coz even death ain't enough. Although u will never be happy in
life. I look in the mirror and say 'it will be rough'. I look into ur eyes and
I am already seeing signs. I search for my redemption, but my drive ain't enough. They said my journey would b peaceful
but they have tortured my ability to love. What am i? My tragedy is the
falseness in my tide. Like the tears that I have cried? None of them have been
falsified. My ocean is high as fuck. I try to be that real when I look at
everyone and laugh. Then think maybe they're joke wasn’t enough. Even thou it
was worth the laugh. My smile aint worth the sacrifice. My skull frozen by
flames while my heart burns of ice. Especially for those who make it seem like,
I have a cold heart. I hide my emotions behind smiles that are falsified.
Confucius in my mind. I am sorry, I know you not fine. At least I felt just for
a short period of time. Especially when the moment symbolizes whats yours and
mine. Our spirits intertwined. We don’t
fall when our stars align. We swim deep coz we water signs. Saying stuff like
'all emotions aside'. So gimme rules for that I can abide. Make me supreme, so
I can feel in need. It's been a while since one has seen my tears. Guess what I
rose was the level of ur fears. U wipe my tears and calm me down with words. U
abuse my nouns and verbs, u figure me through speech when u all over my head. U
tell me not to get high coz I'll b sober again. U seem to care all over, coz of
my pain. Things will never be the same. I thought I would say its coz of the
hurt, but what hurts is that I know love is to blame. Now even cold blood runs
my veins. This I didn’t deserve. My heart was once a strong organ over powered
by the power of emotional nerves. According to the future I observe. I seize to
exist in this world. Sometimes I find peace in dreams concerning death, coz I
feel that’s wat I deserve. Theres no more love to give, nor is there a heart to preserve. We in a love game and my
soul feels like a reserve. So I go through moments of self distraction. Lost my
behavioral pattern. And my ways of being a proper gentleman. Feel as though I
lack discipline. I have patience to throw my whole virtue in. I feel like in
life they all ain't listening. While demons keep torturing the safe box I keep
my spirit in. My depth is something no one has nothing in. My words are always
what I am feeling. At the moment love is what m thinking. They have changed my
patterns of perception. I find peace in what leaves me emotionally bleeding.
Hence now I am afraid of loving. I wanna say I know what u feeling. U the only
name I keep breathing. After its been hatred the whole season. But hatred is
like drinking poison. Then expecting another soul to perish because of ur
doing. I write without understanding. My middle imaginary name has always been
confusion. My thoughts forever confusing. Stuck in a world I am confused in.
Thinking the truth would always b fused in. Now I find peace in dreams that
involve my death in. Slowly moving back to my pool of depression. At least I
will b feeling. My wrist I will b cutting. In suicide I will be believing. My
words are only expression. My ropes will determine my actions. My love will
forever stay tortured. My gullibility will rise on some effortless… Tip. I am
slowly diving in deep. Giving in to life's unhealthy heap. I will b back, but
first I wanted to meet the cousin of sleep…
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